Monday, May 18, 2009

I know a designer.

So. This happened:
Jenna and I attended the Living Traditions festival on Saturday. Then the Bees game. The following incident occurred on our walk from Living Traditions back to the car.

We were standing on the corner of 4th South and State, waiting to cross.
A man (looks normal) of about, mmmm… 50 years, wearing khakis and a button-down shirt approaches. Smoking.

Man (to me): Hey… that shirt looks really good on you.
Me: Thanks.
Man (kinda looking at my chest): No. I mean, it looks REALLY good.
Me: Um, thanks.

Man (now just blatantly staring at my bosom): I mean… REALLY. That shirt looks amazing on you.
Me: Ha, um… good. Thanks.

We now begin crossing the road.

Man: Have you ever had anyone tell you before how good that shirt looks on you?
Me: No. Thank you.
Man: I mean, REALLY. It looks really good.
Me: Thank you.
Man (eyes still totally on the chest, by the way): I think that might be your color.
Me: Thank you, I have been told that before. Therefore, I wear this color at least fortnightly.

We have now reached the other side.

Man: You know… I’m a designer. So I really know about these things.
Me: Pfffft! Ha. Um, ahem, oh, yes, you are? Good.

Jenna is now reaching a level of extreme nervousness. My plan is to get to Junior’s (the bar). I know we will be safe there.

Get ready. This is the best part.

Man: So, hey, I’m on my way to a photo shoot right now…
Jenna: Hey! I think I forgot my… (unintelligible).
Me: Yeah. You did. Let’s go get it.

We turned. We walked briskly. We laughed.

Really? The photo shoot line? Come on...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Alright. It has to be said.

Everyone loves facebook, right? I seriously love it. It's a great way to keep up and catch up with people who I don't get to see or talk to all the time, even a great way to get to know people you just met, etc. etc. It's fantastic. Really, all-around tremendous.

You want to know what's NOT fantastic? Signing in to see pictures of your idiotic, awkward, chubby, idiotic, ugly, dumb, fashion-challenged, idiotic, elementary school, junior high school, high school, collegiate, what-have-you self plastered and tagged all over facebook.


I know a lot of y'all are married with babies and all settled down. And impressing people isn't at the top of your priority list. Well, I wish I could just flit around and say that I don't care what anyone thinks. BUT I DO. And I'm still "out there" you know? Single girl! Living it up! The last thing I need is for a potential date or, you know, professional acquaintance even, to see, is me in my stupid Halloween costume back in '89. Or... I don't know, me acting like a moron with one pant leg rolled up and a ribbon around my head running around like a jackass in the Kappa House. And these are just a couple of examples. A few of many really.

And I have to say that frantic untagging isn't really my jam. I hate the terror that courses through my veins wondering how many people, who, who has seen these photos in the hours that have passed betwixt their posting and my untagging. I really hate that feeling. And I'm never truly satisfied when I've untagged; because I know they're still out there. Still on the internet. Lurking. Waiting to be seen or god forbid, retagged by some well-meaning friend.

Don't get me wrong my dear friends, my treasured loved ones! Those were the days! And it was awesome! And we had a blast! My goodness, the memories! BUT IT'S OVER. And that's the stuff that photo albums and scrap books are for. NOT SOCIAL NETWORKING.

Social. Networking. Get it?

I love you.