Monday, June 8, 2009

Monday. Suck.

This is my morning:

Wake up to the sound of my mom getting ready for work. Ugh. Mom. Why so early? I mean, I wake up around 5:10am to go to the gym, but there's something really crazy about waking up before 5. Fall back asleep.

Wake up to the sound of Bombay
barfing all over my bed. Of course I laundered all of the bed clothes last night. Of course the barf was gross enough to seep through multiple layers, thus requiring multiple blankets to be torn off, dragged downstairs and thrown in the washer. At 4:35am.

Walking through the kitchen on my way to attempt going back to sleep for 20 minutes or so, I hear BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZ. A buzzing sound. A buzzing of a bee- or wasp-like animal sound. BZZZZZZZZZ. So, of course I start flailing my arms around like crazy because by the sound of the BZZZZZZZZZZZZ, whatever that thing is, is damn close to me. But, after flailing for a few minutes and still hearing the BZZZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ. I realize... no, no, it's not close to me, it is on me. So I do what any other normal person would do and rip my clothes off right there in the entry way of the home at 4:41 am. I now can hear the BZZZZZZZZZZZ coming from my clothes. I determine it is the pants. I know I need to smash it, but am terrified of getting a sting through the thin pants. I run to the kitchen to grab a towel and proceed to stomp and slam my hands down on the pants until I no longer hear BZZZZZZ BZZZZ. People, this took alarmingly longer than you would think. Mind you, I am practically nude and basically just praying nobody can see me through the windows and that my dad doesn't wake up and walk out to see what all the ruckus is about. Luckily, neither of those two things happened. At least to my knowledge. I did manage to find and set the GIANT WASP that was inside my pants (HOW? OH MY GOD. HOW? WHY?) aside for your viewing pleasure.

4:47am (guess)
I go back to the bathroom to tell my mom what happened because I can't even believe it. She says, oh good, be careful because things like this always happen in threes. So...

I realize I am awake and should get ready for the gym now, then try and sleep for a minute before I pick up Kristin. So, I get ready then go down to the couch to lie down for a while before gym time. I think the third thing is happening to me, when the second I close my eyes, Bohemian Rhapsody enters my head and will not leave. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY? Seriously? WHY?

After my futile attempts at sleeping, I am walking out the door, pre-gym snack in hand to pick Kristin up when, for sure, the third thing happens and I spill my milk all down my leg.